I just tried to write a nonchalant post about what happened to me in WalMart tonight, but it was unsuccessful. Therefore, I will summarize it in one sentence and not go into detail because then it sounds even weirder.

A middle-aged man said my feet were the most beautiful feet and asked me to point my toes so he could see my arch as he knelt down to massage my most beautiful feet while I stood there speechless and officially creeped out.

Bad grammar, I know. But how else can I describe such an event? There are no more words. Oh wait, there's one more. AWKWARD. EFFING AWKWARD.

I am doing a homemade hair mask right now of milk, avocado, banana, and fresh rosemary. It smells surprisingly delicious. Yes, I tasted it. No, it did not taste good.

Oh me. My boobies don't quite fill out this nightie.